The Perils of Walking in Brussels

Oy, I've been putting off this post, knowing it would be a long whiny one, but here goes!

Walking in Brussels takes quick thinking, stealthy maneuvers, eyes everywhere and constant awareness of the people around you. The uneven cobblestones may give you enough trouble, but then there's the dog (or horse) shit, slow/stupid people, cars, buses, trash and even the odd zucchini! God help you if it's raining, or even if you want to look up to enjoy the scenery on a lovely day! So here is my list of things to look out for if you happen to be visiting (or living) in this lovely city.

1. Cobblestones. Cobblestones are the most frequent offenders on this list. First of all, they are almost always uneven, many jutting up enough to cause a stubbed toe. This happens to me about once a day and I often see it happen to others. Irregular cobblestones are far better than missing cobblestones, or loose ones that have been dug up and vertically placed. Also, beware of loose ones when it rains or you will be muddy in no time flat. Please scroll for examples.

2. Shit. Dog shit is everywhere in Brussels and I honestly don't understand why people don't clean up after their dogs. Often you will see a big fresh one with a foot print right in the middle and smears going down the sidewalk. *shudder* Something else I've seen (though not commonly) is horse shit. Granted, that would be harder to clean, but come on, especially when it's right. In. The. Crosswalk. Ugh. People, if you have a dog (or a horse) please be responsible and clean up after it. And walkers, keep a close lookout, the moment you look up and start enjoying a lovely Art Nouveau building there will be poop.

3. People. If you read my post about the hoard of children you will already have a sense of what I'm talking about. In my neighborhood people are everywhere and if you are in a rush, you had better guarantee that they will be especially slow just for you. Many people will walk slowly and 3 abreast so you cannot pass. If they are slow because they walk with a cane they will swerve around to ensure passing is impossible. Women with hummer-sized strollers will park themselves in the exact doorway of the exact shop you want to go into. The people who are actually walking at a brisk pace will decide to abruptly stop in a random place in the middle of the sidewalk, maybe to talk to a friend, maybe to text someone, maybe just for fun, who knows.

Also, do not attempt to play "chicken" with these people. They will not move. If they see you coming and keep on walking either swerve or prepare for impact. If it is entirely their fault that you run into them they will be angry and will possibly yell at you. If it is your fault they won't even notice. Never expect an apology but be pleasantly surprised when you get one.

4. Cars. In theory, cars stay in the road, so the only time you should have to worry about them is when you are crossing the street. In Brussels this is mostly true. When on the sidewalk about to cross and a car is speeding towards you, make sure they see you before stepping into the street (seems logical, right?). There are times when drivers will blatantly ignore crosswalks and speed right through. When this happens I like to yell at the back of the car, most likely "COME ON!!!" or "JESUS!!!", I also like to gesticulate wildly.

I was trying to cross once and this slow moving car was coming towards me and I nearly stepped into the road. It's a damn good thing I didn't, because this guy (a Congolese man) just kept driving. I gesticulated, as did others, and he looked at us with this big grin and waved. I had to laugh. Maybe he had recently arrived in Brussels thought "Wow, such nice people! All waving at me!"

5. Cars+People. This may not be true elsewhere in Brussels, but here in the Matonge it is something to be aware of. People will congregate on the sidewalks outside of hair dressing shops and record shops and basically take over the sidewalk. If you try to walk by more often than not they will refuse to move, forcing you to walk in the street. If this happens, be sure to check for oncoming cars. Take my word for that one.

6. Construction. Construction is happening all the time in Brussels. It often continues for ridiculous amounts of time and closes off sidewalks for all kinds of digging and ridiculously loud processes. (Side note: this will often start at 6am the morning you can actually sleep in and stop completely at 9am, never to start again.) This may mean there are detours, large boards used to cover up larger holes and other such obstacles. Proceed cautiously. There may also be random detours with minimal explanation. Beware, people may decide that this is the ideal spot to puke. No joke.

(Of course immediately after taking this picture, in an attempt to avoid stepping in the mess I tripped over the aluminum bars and twisted my ankle. That's what I get for complaining!)


7. Zucchinis? Yep, but this only happened once. There was a giant zucchini in the middle of the sidewalk. I just thought I'd include it because you really never know what you are going to see!


So there you have it, the perils of walking in Brussels. I think it's fun to put a positive spin on it and pretend you are in a video game. +10 points for not tripping on the cobblestone, +20 points for avoiding the dog poop, etc. Those who are advanced can try this routine with an umbrella in the windtunnel that is Porte de Namur! Good luck! And remember, if it happens to be sunny and warm, the sunny side is that much more likely to smell like piss (or is that just in the Matonge?)

Seriously?!?!?!

So I know I promised the post on walking in Brussels, but again, circumstances have intervened and I feel the need to share something else.

We have new neighbors both upstairs and down, the latter came by on Friday night so invite us to their housewarming the following night. They seemed like nice, early 20s flemish guys, so we said we might stop by. We didn't for one reason or another (ok, I was feeling lazy...). When the music started (same bass line, I was sure it was that Bacardi pre-mixed mojito commercial) at 7pm I chuckled and thought these guys are serious. Then "Circle of Life" from Lion King came on, quirky, I thought.

But the bass continued, rattling our floor, punctuated by cheers. By 2am I started to get fed up and was weighing my options. I didn't want to call the police, that would be extreme. But, if I knocked on their door I didn't want to be that neighbor. They had invited me, after all.

Around 2:30 they started playing a remix of "Big Jet Plane." Another song and then "Big Jet Plane." I'll just skip ahead and tell you that the played it 5 TIMES. In a HALF HOUR. It was around this time that I heard a noise on the staircase going up, but I thought at the time, maybe it's just our neighbors upstairs coming home.

A few minutes later I popped my head out the door to see how loud it was in the hallway. I saw a straw hat on our landing (it's 1 apartment per floor, w. small landings every half flight of stairs) and I muttered under my breath "Seriously?" and threw it down to the floor below. Then I heard another noise coming from above. I looked up at the landing above ours and what should I see??

A BARE ASS PUMPING AWAY. Yep, people were having full on sex on the windowsill a few steps up from my door. No longer in the mood to play nice I said something along the lines of "SERIOUSLY??!!?!?! You should NOT be doing that!! What the hell?!?! Come ON!!" I heard a couple of meek "sorry"'s as I marched downstairs (in my pijamas) and knocked on the door.

My heart was pounding as I tried to ask nicely for them to at least turn the bass down, as it was by this time 3:30am. They were very nice and did indeed turn it down. The guilty couple came down around this point and were trying to explain that I shouldn't worry, this was housewarming party and a one time thing. I said "Don't worry, I know, I was invited."

I finally went back upstairs feeling victorious, but no longer tired at all.

The Battle of the Sidewalk

As I was walking to Lidl (a budget grocery store here in Brussels, found all over Europe) today, I got the idea for my next blog post: the perils of walking in Brussels. And that will still be my next post. However, as I was walking back from Lidl (and the pet store) with a full granny cart of groceries and cat food, I came upon the real nightmare of walking in Brussels. Children.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love children, I want children, I still babysit for crying out loud, but this wasn't just a kid or two. This was a class (or combined class) of 50. All about 7 or 8 years old. On a sidewalk with a workable walking area where 2 adults can walk side by side almost comfortably. And here's me, going in the opposite direction WITH my shopping cart (full and heavy) facing the onslaught.

There were kids everywhere. Not looking where they were going. Running into me head on. Tripping over my cart. Trampling my toes. Taking over every. Fucking. Inch. Of. The. Sidewalk. And the teachers! The teachers were giving me dirty looks like, how dare I walk on this sidewalk in my neighborhood! How dare I when these kids needed it more! For shame!

Ugh, anyway, I made it home, cart and toes intact. And you can look forward to my continued ranting about walking the streets, er, sidewalks of Brussels (with pictures!) very soon.

Garden Party

First of all, I'd like to say sorry for the long absence. I honestly don't have much of an excuse, work kept me busy for a while, but for better or worse that is no longer the case (though it was my decision).

Onto the garden party in St. Boniface! I'm afraid I'm pretty unaware of upcoming events, so these things tend to sneak up on me, though they are always fun. In the morning they started putting grass/turf all over the street and they had already hung mock-laundry between the buildings. A DJ set up, there were drink stands and the part started in the afternoon.

Once the party really got started in the evening, I have to say, it was eclectic. I saw people of all ages, all races, all sexual orientations just having a good old time. Had I not over-indulged the night before (jello shots are dangerous, people) I would have joined right in!

Events like this are what really keep Brussels interesting and fun. You just never know when there will be a party on your doorstep!

Only in Belgium

Taken from Brussels Unlimited:

Demands for Courthouse Scaffolding to be Removed

The city authorities have orderede the removal of scaffolding at the Palais de Justice, one of Brussels' landmark buildings.

The demand comes amid warnings that the rusting scaffolding has been in place so long it is in danger of collapse.

It was erected several months ago (I think they mean years) as part of the ongoing restoration work. Deadlines for its removal have come and gone with no sign of it being removed.

A spokesman for the committee responsible for the restorations said: "The scaffolding has been there so long now that a whole generation has never seen the Palais de Justice without it."

Trying to see a movie in Brussels

It's another lazy Sunday, and Miguel and I are thinking of seeing a movie, so while having coffee over at Blomqvist's, we check out the movie schedule at the UGC on his blackberry. There was one I had been thinking of seeing for a while called "Another Year," though for the life of me I couldn't remember what it was about, so we clicked the title to look at the synopsis. This is what it said:

Printemps, été, automne et hiver. La famille et l'amitié. Amour et réconfort. Joie et peine. Espoir et découragement. La fraternité. La solitude. Une naissance. Une mort. Le temps passe...

Spring, summer, autumn and winter. Family and friendship. Love and comfort. Joy and Pain. Hope and discouragement. Brotherhood. Solitude. A birth. A death. The passing of time...

Riiiiight, so this could be just about any movie ever made. Awesome. On to imdb...

Of Rain and Umbrellas

First of all, I wanted to apologize. I have been a very neglectful blogger lately. I guess working 40(+) hours a week in addition to being in the middle of the cold, gray, rainy Belgian winter takes the energy right out of me. Sometimes I think the endless clouds, rain and milder temperatures are worse than the bitter cold with the possibility of snow and/or sun, but what do I know?

I complain about the rain, but it does make the city shine and sparkle at night. The drops hit the street where a car's headlights are shining and it looks like glitter is falling rather than rain. But then, of course, a big drop falls on your head, or you step in a previously unnoticed puddle and the magic is gone. The rain sucks again.


The rain coupled with the constant (and powerful) wind just outside the escalator to the Porte de Namur metro have created an umbrella graveyard along the sidewalk and in the square. Mangled skeletons of umbrellas turned inside-out one too many times litter the area. The smart (if damp) people close their umbrellas before reaching the square risking their comfort to save their umbrellas. Selfless, really.

Since I don't have any pictures of the umbrellas to share for the moment, I will leave you with a picture I took late in the year in 2010. I think it's the appropriate color...

When the winter rains come pouring down on that new home of mine, Will I still be in your eyes and on your mind?

Musée d'Art Fantastique

Brussels is a strange town. You never know what you're going to find, or where a particular path will lead you. I thought I had gotten used to this, and that there wasn't much left that could surprise me. How wrong I was.

I went to the Horta Museum for the first time last week with some guests that had been staying over. The house was gorgeous with the feeling of almost being a living breathing being. There was something beautiful to be found in every detail to the point where it became difficult to process it all.

After being so stimulated and moved by such a work of art, we left to make our way home. It was only a few doors down we came upon something so strange, so bizarre, so completely different that we decided to stop in for some comic relief. This was the Musée d'Art Fantastique, and fantastic it was. There was a beer festival going on at the time, so we couldn't resist going in. We were greeted by this:

And this was only the beginning. I don't know if I can properly describe some of the things I saw, so I suppose I will just have to let these pictures give an idea. You had better believe I'll be going back the week of Halloween! So enjoy, and if you are in Brussels and you are up for something... well, like this, go. Gawk. enjoy.

Romance in the Cheese Aisle

One thing I've really had to get used to while living in Brussels, and really, Europe in general, is lack of space. In the US, especially in the suburbs, there's nothing but space. The roads are wider, the restaurants bigger, the aisles in the grocery store are big enough for 2 carts at once! Imagine!

Here in Brussels I feel like I'm in the way everywhere I am. Waiting to be seated in a restaurant anywhere I stand I'm in the way. Shopping for clothes I have to squeeze between racks to let other people past. On some of the sidewalks it's impossible to walk by another person without touching them.

Of course, this closeness, this lack of space is always made more difficult by certain individuals who seem to have no concept of the people around them. People will walk down the narrowest of sidewalks 3 in a row (slowly) and will make no move when someone tries to go the other way or pass them. Crates are left blocking half an aisle in stores where a child will have parked his or her tricycle blocking the other half. People will MAKE OUT in front of the cheese section of Delhaize making it impossible to reach the parmesan or gouda! I mean, really. The cheese section?

So maybe I'm a spoiled American (ok, I definitely am), but at least I don't feel the need to have some tongue with my cheese.

Overheard in Brussels

I was walking into town with Miguel yesterday, and as we walked by an Italian restaurant we heard: "Guarda la questa bianca bianca!" (Look at that extremely white girl!) I didn't think much of it, until I turned around and saw that they were pointing at me! I know I'm pale, but I didn't know I was that pale! *sigh*

Our Nightly Concert...

This video was taken from our bedroom window at about 12:45am. He had been singing for about a half an hour before the video and is still singing now. Grrr....

*Update* He just stopped, it's now 1am. I yelled "Arete!" down there, which seemed to do nothing, and was about to call the police when he left! Miguel said I should have blown my Vuvuzela at him. That's a much better idea....

Come back singing guy... Here singing guy...

"Now You're in Brussels..."

I heard this song on the radio at Delhaize the other day and nearly fell over laughing! And now, thanks to The Belgian Waffle I have video! I am practically in tears laughing. My god.

*edit* Scratch what I said before. I actually have tears streaming down my cheeks right now from laughing so hard.



PS., Here is the original song by Jay-Z and Alicia Keys for comparison. And oh, what a comparison.

Of Baking and Patriotism

So it would seem that I am destined to be followed around by the letter B. Why, you ask? Let's see. My name is Brody. I live in Brussels, Belgium. I'm a blogger. And now, I bake! Professionally!

I had the absolute luck to be approached by the owner of a rather nice cafe here in Brussels to begin baking for them! He had heard I baked from another cafe owner and friend, and decided to give me a shot! Now, I have never in my life baked on such a large scale as I am required to do with this job. 12 cakes at a time, measuring flour and sugar by the bag, but, though I was daunted at first (and still am a bit) I find that I'm getting used to it, and actually really enjoying it. The only downside is... the heat. I know, I know, if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. And really, once I get going, it's not so bad. But when the weather is right around 90F (32C), and you are stuck in a basement kitchen doing heavy lifting with ovens blazing, well, then we can talk!

The great thing is, I love doing it. I've always loved baking (probably because then I have something tasty to eat), and so far I still do. I was posed the question last night that since I bake so much now, do I still enjoy doing it on my own time. I tested that out today, the 4th of July, by making an American flag cake. That was my plan for my big show of patriotism (as of last night after some bowling and a few beers).

My idea was to get some food coloring at Delhaize and use 3 different colors of frosting to decorate. Easy, right? Well, this is Belgium, so, wrong. No food coloring to be found (where I could have sworn I saw it before), so I decided to get a bag of M&Ms thinking to use those instead. When I got back home I found that I did have blue food coloring and colored red sugar sprinkles, score! Here are pictures, it's not the most beautiful cake ever, but at least it was tasty!
My friend Laura, also American, came over to share the cake with us. Fun was had by all!

So there you have it, I still enjoy baking, especially when it's an imperfectly rendered symbol of patriotism!

A Sign from Above

Yesterday was the kind of day (with regard to weather) that makes you feel lucky to be alive. It was that perfect temperature, warm in the sun with a stiff cool breeze, and not a cloud to be seen. I decided to go for a walk in the royal park, bring a book, get some ice cream, make an outing out of it.

After a nice walk, I got an ice cream cone and sat down at the perfect empty table, partially in the sun, partially in the shade. I was concentrating on not letting the dripping ice cream get all over me and thinking to myself: "Today, I really like Brussels." No sooner had I finished that thought in my head... *SPLAT* A bird shit (or shat?) on my table, the splatter narrowly missing my purse. And I mean a big shit. That thing rocked the table!

I laughed, a little stunned, wondering if I should move (but where to? All of the other tables were taken) or if I should worry about getting a special delivery on my head or even in my purse. Is bird poop like lightening? Will it strike the same place twice?

I tried to maintain my calm, ice cream-in-the-park attitude, but all I could think about was what would I do if a bird pooped on my head, like, would I laugh or cry? Would I take the metro home or walk? And so, the mood was effectively ruined and I decided to head home.

So what do you think, was it a sign?

Camera Troubles...

So I have had bad luck with cameras lately! I bought my camera (a nice little Canon Powershot SD870 IS) 2 years ago, and up until recently it has served me very well. Now, not so much.

First, the screen started to give out, strips of pixels just died. Then more patches were gone! Because the camera doesn't have an optical viewfinder, this is very annoying. But ok, I was willing to deal with it, since the spots didn't show up on my pictures. Fine.

Well, I decided to break out the camera yesterday to try to capture a pic of Cleo and Sophie getting their play on. I was taking pictures and video, no problem... until I decided to look at them. In every picture there was a fuzzy black line from the top of the screen to the bottom, and it was darker when I had the camera zoomed in. Ok, I thought, maybe it's just the camera and it won't show up on the pictures! WRONG. Examples:
It's just my luck, too, that the flower carpet is this year! It only happens every other year, and here is a picture someone else took of it:So while normally I would be content enough to wait a few months and save for a camera, all I can think of now is NEED CAMERA NOW. It doesn't help that after playing around with Dad's camera for a while, I am seriously coveting a Canon Powershot G11.

Time to get schem- er, saving...

Observation

The weather has been really lovely here the last few days, and it has put me in a great mood! I was walking around in the sunshine 2 days ago, going to check out DOD (why have I not gone there before?) and I was paying no attention to the sidewalk. Then it occurred to me: It is risky to walk along and pay no attention to the sidewalk in Brussels. One of two things will imminently happen. 1) You trip on the cobblestones, or 2) step in dog poo.

Ah, the sad truths of living in Brussels. Good thing there's plenty of chocolate!

Shooting and Palais de Justice

Well, apparently Brussels is going to shit.

Miguel has been following the news a lot more closely in his new job, and just called to tell me that two people were JUST shot dead at the Palais de Justice; one judge and one court employee. At around 11am. On a Thursday. A beautiful sunny Thursday. WHAT THE HELL? Here's the info.

Last Friday night there was also a stabbing in Place Flagey. No one was killed, but three injured.

Finally, I only recently found out about an attack at the Porte de Namur metro, MY metro stop, on New Years Eve 2009/10. One man was attacked and thrown from a good height onto the tracks. Though he survived, this attack probably scares me most of all.

Of Crime Shows and Imaginations

So I really have an obscene amount of things I need to post about, not the least of which is my parents' visit now almost two weeks ago (le sigh), but I wanted to start with this.

I have come to the conclusion that I watch way too many crime shows. This is a fairly new thing for me, since I had never watched an episode of any of the acronym shows (the CSIs, NCIS) or the others: Bones, Criminal Minds, Castle, The Mentalist while in the US. Since moving here, however, it's all I watch, granted, it's the only thing that's on other than reruns of According to Jim or Charmed. So now Miguel and I have several "crime nights" a week.

Now, I fancy myself pretty used to seeing violent acts and stuff on tv, I don't really squirm when seeing a particularly gruesome body (though I usually choose not to eat much during those), nor do I have nightmares. Unfortunately, however, I think my tolerance is wearing off.

I have always been wary of going into a dark (supposedly) empty house or building (i.e. when house sitting, or during a power outage), but now my imagination is getting more vivid. When letting myself into the basement of the cafe, I often turn the lights on and look around for a body. When I get upstairs and open the bathroom or storage room door, I do the same thing, waiting to hear the heavy thud of something grisly falling out.

Now, today, not 20 minutes ago, my crazy imagination reared its ugly head here in my apartment. I had just stepped out of the shower, when I heard a heavy knock on the door. Not being prepared for a visitor, and kinda panicking, I yelled (in English) "Who is it??" No answer. I heard footsteps, and then a far off knock, probably upstairs. I tried to put it out of my mind despite my pounding heart and get on with my post-shower ablutions. No sooner had I turned on my hair dryer, there was another loud KNOCK-KNOCK, and no footsteps. I tiptoed by the door in my bathrobe with no intention of opening the door, all the while cursing my lack of peep-hole and praying that this was not some kind of attacker that could break through the door after realizing that there was no one else in the building. I waited silently for a while, listening, feeling my heart beat faster and harder than normal. After a while I heard the footsteps retreating back down the stairs and I breathed a sigh of relief.

I would live, at least for now, to see another crime show.

Newspapers in Belgium

To whomever reads this in Brussels, or really, anywhere in Belgium...

I know there are daily newspapers like Le Soir and De Standaard online as well as the less regular Bulletin and Flanders Today, but do you feel the need for a more regular local newspaper in English? I find that I settle for not knowing what is going on around me rather than look online or try to decipher newspapers in other languages. Yesterday's incident made me realize that if the incident had not happened so close to me, I doubt I would have known about it at all. It really made me realize how little I know about the goings on in the country I live in.

So here's the question: If there was an English language free daily paper, would you pick it up? Read it? Even get it delivered? I'd love to hear any opinions.

Armed Robbery, 1 Dead, 2 Injured

There are so many things I've been wanting to write about lately, and I will get to them. First, though, I have to address something that happened today very close to where I live in Brussels.

I live on Rue Saint Boniface, which is a very "up-and-coming" neighborhood with lots of restaurants, cafes, bars, etc. It also blends with the Matonge, which is the Congolese quarter. Many of the buildings are beautiful and boast Art Nouveau architecture. This area is also a real mixing pot of all different cultures, inhabited by immigrants, expats and even a few Belgians! It may have its faults, but I have really enjoyed living in such a dynamic and lively place.

Today, though, something happened that is making me consider moving to another area. I was just finishing lunch with Miguel, our friend Laura had just left with her little dog, Wilson, in tow. It was nice and sunny outside, so we had the window open. That's when we started hearing sirens. More and more sirens, prompting us to look out the window. Traffic was being re-directed, there were lots of police cars and some ambulances, then a helicopter circling. Miguel was about to go back to work, so he said he would check it out and let me know.

About 10 minutes later he called to tell me someone had been shot outside the jewelry store on Chausee de Wavre (just about a block from our apartment). He said they were blocking everything off and treating someone on the street, someone may have died. I went down to find the situation unchanged, I couldn't see much, but the helicopter continued to circle ominously.

I later came across this article (which can be translated via Google translate).

I'm still rather shocked about this. I know violence happens in cities, as do robberies, drug use, etc., but to have a violent crime happen just a stone's throw from my front door makes me uneasy to say the least.


UPDATE Both robbers in the Chausse de Wavre case were apprehended. Now, Brussels is dealing with another jewelry store robbery in Schaerbeek in which one of the assailants was killed and the other wounded by the shop owner. There was also a fatal shooting on the ring road as well as riots in Saint-Gilles.