OH. MY. GOD. WANT.

Please, oh pleeeeeease someone get this for me!!!

Of Crime Shows and Imaginations

So I really have an obscene amount of things I need to post about, not the least of which is my parents' visit now almost two weeks ago (le sigh), but I wanted to start with this.

I have come to the conclusion that I watch way too many crime shows. This is a fairly new thing for me, since I had never watched an episode of any of the acronym shows (the CSIs, NCIS) or the others: Bones, Criminal Minds, Castle, The Mentalist while in the US. Since moving here, however, it's all I watch, granted, it's the only thing that's on other than reruns of According to Jim or Charmed. So now Miguel and I have several "crime nights" a week.

Now, I fancy myself pretty used to seeing violent acts and stuff on tv, I don't really squirm when seeing a particularly gruesome body (though I usually choose not to eat much during those), nor do I have nightmares. Unfortunately, however, I think my tolerance is wearing off.

I have always been wary of going into a dark (supposedly) empty house or building (i.e. when house sitting, or during a power outage), but now my imagination is getting more vivid. When letting myself into the basement of the cafe, I often turn the lights on and look around for a body. When I get upstairs and open the bathroom or storage room door, I do the same thing, waiting to hear the heavy thud of something grisly falling out.

Now, today, not 20 minutes ago, my crazy imagination reared its ugly head here in my apartment. I had just stepped out of the shower, when I heard a heavy knock on the door. Not being prepared for a visitor, and kinda panicking, I yelled (in English) "Who is it??" No answer. I heard footsteps, and then a far off knock, probably upstairs. I tried to put it out of my mind despite my pounding heart and get on with my post-shower ablutions. No sooner had I turned on my hair dryer, there was another loud KNOCK-KNOCK, and no footsteps. I tiptoed by the door in my bathrobe with no intention of opening the door, all the while cursing my lack of peep-hole and praying that this was not some kind of attacker that could break through the door after realizing that there was no one else in the building. I waited silently for a while, listening, feeling my heart beat faster and harder than normal. After a while I heard the footsteps retreating back down the stairs and I breathed a sigh of relief.

I would live, at least for now, to see another crime show.

A little Introspection

Indecision. I have to wonder if it plagues anyone other than me, though I know deep down that it does.

I am so torn between whether I am self-centered and selfish to a fault, or selfless to the point of sacrificing my own happiness for that of others (or, in some cases, just one other). How do I know which? Or is it both, each being spurred on by the other.

All of my life I have been plagued by indecisiveness. When asked to pick a stuffed animal or 2 to have on my bed, I had to have all of them so as to hurt no ones’ feelings. When asked what was my favorite day of the week, my answer was all of them for different reasons (assignment failed). When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I had 5 or more answers, depending on the day. I always thought that when I grew up, I would somehow know what it was that I wanted to do, whether it turned out to be veterinarian, marine biologist, concert organizer, writer... but the older I got, the more confused I became.

Every time I decided to focus on something new, I would make it to a certain stage, and then it would cease to be fun, or, what I had imagined it to be. Just like when I went to Sunday school at the local synagogue and quit the moment we started to actually learn Hebrew. I’m not sure if I lack the drive or focus, or if I just like too many things.

As it turns out, one of the upsides of this particular personality trait is that I’ve become a bit of a renaissance man (er, girl). I know a lot about a lot, just not enough about any one thing to be any kind of expert. I can tell you all about the parts of a cell, talk knowledgeably about taxonomy, quote many great writers, tell you all about music from the Middle Ages to what is playing on the radio as I type this. I can skillfully clean an espresso machine, snake a drain, train a cat, cook a delicious coq au vin. I can do all these things and more, but where does all the fit in on a CV/resume?

I feel that I have been trapped by Brussels. When people ask me how I, an American, came to live here, I find it hard to tell them the truth. I came here for my husband. I came here for him and for his job without a second thought to what I would do. Sure, I had TEFL certification, but did I really want to teach? No. It was merely a plan for something I could do until something better came along, though I still have no idea what that was supposed to be. I’ve lived here for 1 1/2 years, and I have never had both feet in the country. I have ideas like opening up an English language bookstore, or starting an English language newspaper, but I know those will take time, and I plan on being out of here in 2 years, maximum.

So what’s left for me here? I’m teaching a lesson or 2 a week, working part time (very part time) at a cafe and doing a tiny amount of baking (for said cafe), and I’m doing some babysitting on the side. Though I’ve applied for many an office job (at the US Embassy and NATO) I don’t really have the right skill set (or interest) for those kinds of jobs to make me all that happy. I don’t want to work for a big corporation, or a consultancy, and I really have no interest in public diplomacy. It doesn’t help matters that my French is barely functional. (I am really quite good at stating what I do not want and what I am not good at, but not so good at the opposite.) So, as it turns out, Brussels is not the best place for little old me.

But there I go, blaming Brussels, when, wouldn’t it be similar (if not just the same) anywhere I go? My indecisiveness would come right back to bite me in the ass, and I would be right back to where I am no, just at a different locale. What does this mean for my future? Am I doomed to work at jobs I am unhappy in (or, perhaps simply bored by) for the rest of my life? Should I just bite the bullet and get the non-ideal job, knowing that it does not have to be permanent, just so I have something to do with my time (not to mention an income)? Am I clinging too hard to my principles to let myself even have half a chance?

1 Kiss, or 2? (Or maybe 3?)

As an American in Europe, I encounter all kinds of cultural differences and I try to adapt accordingly. These include everything from table manners (eating everything on the plate vs. stopping when full) to how direct to be when asking a favor (extreme American politeness vs. being straightforward to to the point). I have found problems with one, in particular, that until recently I remained silent about. Kissing people on the cheek. I have no problem with the custom, in fact, I think it's nice! No, my problem lies in the awkwardness of the nuances in that custom.

Some people kiss on 1 cheek. Right or left. Some kiss on both, right then left, or vice versa. Then you get into the 3 kisses, right left right? Left right left? Which way you go and how many often depends on the nationality of the person you are dealing with. But then, if a French person meets a Dutch person, whose style gets precedence? As an American, do I get a say in the style? If I start going left, does the other person have to go left? What if we both go in the wrong direction and bump noses (or worse, lips?)? What if I go for one, they go for 2, and I look like I don't like them, because I can only stand for 1 kiss? Or what about the opposite? If I go for another kiss and come on too strong? Or what if they don't do the kiss thing at all, and are really just going for a hug and I get it all wrong? Oh, the anxiety!

And then there's the kind of kiss. There's the actual full contact kiss on the cheek, the cheek touching and kissy noises (but no actual kissing), there's the cheek touch, but no kissy noises, the air kiss with no touching of the faces... I'm sure there are more, and all add to the anxiety fo these social encounters! So what if I go for a full on kiss on the cheek and totally offend someone who wants nothing to do with my lips on their face?

And then you get into how soon do you kiss people? Normally there's one meeting with just a hand shake and then after that kisses are fair game. But what if this is a business associate? A client? A friend of a friend? How many meetings does it take to get to that level of familiarity? Do people get offended if I get it wrong?

Perhaps there should be a standard way of doing it? Or if that is no good, what about a list of guidelines for the outsider (erm, me) so I don't feel so flustered every time I say hello or goodbye to someone and end up feeling completely awkward!

Though I have to say, I feel better knowing that this is a problem for others, including other Europeans! The Irish, the Germans, the French, the Dutch! I'm not alone! Still, though, I would love to have a version of the kiss greeting to stick to that could at least be somewhat universal. Anyone else?

Newspapers in Belgium

To whomever reads this in Brussels, or really, anywhere in Belgium...

I know there are daily newspapers like Le Soir and De Standaard online as well as the less regular Bulletin and Flanders Today, but do you feel the need for a more regular local newspaper in English? I find that I settle for not knowing what is going on around me rather than look online or try to decipher newspapers in other languages. Yesterday's incident made me realize that if the incident had not happened so close to me, I doubt I would have known about it at all. It really made me realize how little I know about the goings on in the country I live in.

So here's the question: If there was an English language free daily paper, would you pick it up? Read it? Even get it delivered? I'd love to hear any opinions.

Armed Robbery, 1 Dead, 2 Injured

There are so many things I've been wanting to write about lately, and I will get to them. First, though, I have to address something that happened today very close to where I live in Brussels.

I live on Rue Saint Boniface, which is a very "up-and-coming" neighborhood with lots of restaurants, cafes, bars, etc. It also blends with the Matonge, which is the Congolese quarter. Many of the buildings are beautiful and boast Art Nouveau architecture. This area is also a real mixing pot of all different cultures, inhabited by immigrants, expats and even a few Belgians! It may have its faults, but I have really enjoyed living in such a dynamic and lively place.

Today, though, something happened that is making me consider moving to another area. I was just finishing lunch with Miguel, our friend Laura had just left with her little dog, Wilson, in tow. It was nice and sunny outside, so we had the window open. That's when we started hearing sirens. More and more sirens, prompting us to look out the window. Traffic was being re-directed, there were lots of police cars and some ambulances, then a helicopter circling. Miguel was about to go back to work, so he said he would check it out and let me know.

About 10 minutes later he called to tell me someone had been shot outside the jewelry store on Chausee de Wavre (just about a block from our apartment). He said they were blocking everything off and treating someone on the street, someone may have died. I went down to find the situation unchanged, I couldn't see much, but the helicopter continued to circle ominously.

I later came across this article (which can be translated via Google translate).

I'm still rather shocked about this. I know violence happens in cities, as do robberies, drug use, etc., but to have a violent crime happen just a stone's throw from my front door makes me uneasy to say the least.


UPDATE Both robbers in the Chausse de Wavre case were apprehended. Now, Brussels is dealing with another jewelry store robbery in Schaerbeek in which one of the assailants was killed and the other wounded by the shop owner. There was also a fatal shooting on the ring road as well as riots in Saint-Gilles.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Today has been quite busy! Miguel's aunts and cousin are coming into Brussels tonight to stay for a couple of days!

I'm trying to be a good hostess and have the apartment clean and a nice dinner awaiting their arrival. The place is clean enough, I made brownies, coq au vin and I have a soda bread in the oven (it is St. Paddy's Day, after all!). So I'm finally having a sit while the bread bakes and the stew reheats!

Maybe it's time to start celebrating...

The Stubborn, Optimistic American Abroad

There are so many differences between Belgium and the US. It's hard to know where to begin, it's also hard to stop myself from complaining sometimes. But...

I'm sure I've mentioned the lack of "service" in "customer service." Well, here I go again! On Friday night, Miguel and I went to the movies to see Shutter Island. The theater was packed and the movie was fantastic, but the problem came when I got home and realized I had forgotten my super-awesome Sigg water bottle in the cup holder of my seat. Miguel, being the wonderful husband that he is, and it being late (10:45pm, weirdos are out by then) offered to go back to retrieve it for me. So off he goes, braving the weirdos and clubbers on my behalf. Sadly, he returned a few minutes later, water bottle-less.

At first I thought he was joking when he said he had no luck. Apparently, the woman there said that he couldn't go up to the theater because there was a movie going on. Also, though he made it clear that it is an aluminum bottle (so I don't have to keep using plastic ones), she said it would probably have been thrown in the trash. Uh... what? She also radioed the clean up crew, who said they had cleaned the theater and found nothing. This was Miguel's report. He told me to leave it be and we could check again in the morning.

Maybe it's because I'm American, instilled with such values as optimism and stubbornness, but I was not about to accept that answer. I looked up the movie showings, and when Miguel had gone back there was no movie showing in that theater! Oy vey. So, to Miguel's protest, I equipped myself with my Swiss Army Knife and my cell phone and headed out to wage my battle with UGC Cinemas and retrieve my beloved water bottle.

I arrived (after talking to Miguel on my cell all the way there) and walked in feeling good. I explained in my horrible French that I had left my bottle there. She said yes, your husband was here, but there is a movie going on now. I said, in my stumbling, but forceful French, "No, there is no movie in that theater, I was in the last showing that ended at 10:30." She looked at her board and said ok, go ahead. Already I had done better than Miguel!

I schlepped up the stairs to theater 14, went through both sets of doors and burst into... a pitch black theater. I quite literally could not see my hand in front of my face (as Groucho Marx would say, "You wouldn't get much enjoyment out of that!"). I didn't dare to walk forward for fear of tripping over the seats, so I went back to the hallway. Luckily, I had brought my ipod touch, which has a handy dandy app called "flashlight" which is just a white screen that gives off just enough light to make a difference. With that on, I inched down the aisle seeing wrappers, plastic water bottles, etc. everywhere (they obviously had not cleaned that theater) until I came upon my very own light blue aluminum one! Triumph!

I went back downstairs thinking 2 things: How I won, and how I would gloat to the woman downstairs, but more importantly, to Miguel! The American way works! Of course, once I saw the woman again, I held up the bottle and said happily the equivalent of "I find it!" and then tried to push, rather than pull the door, looking more than a little like an idiot. Oh well.

So there you have it. Score one for the foreigner!

Ga Ga for Gaga!

So this is a blog normally devoted to the trials and tribulations of living in Belgium. Well, and my cats. But I feel the need to post a little something different tonight.

I just bought my tickets to see Lady Gaga in concert in Antwerp! Love her or hate her, most people know of her, and have heard at least one of her songs or seen one of her crazy outfits. Some people dismiss her as "too weird" while others are of the opinion that she is, well, not all woman. Me, I find her (and her music) fascinating, intoxicating, bizarre, fun, addictive and just plain genius.

Her latest video if for the song "Telephone" which is featuring Beyonce. It is some kind of crazy mashup of Tarantino (Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill), Thelma and Louise, Michael Jackon, Madonna and of course, GAGA.



Just watch it. Trust me.

I also really liked this break down of all the action and themes.

So that's it for now, I cannot WAIT until May! Gaga, here I come!

Jobs!

The time has come to find a job! A real job. Not just a lesson or two a week along with baking a couple batches of brownies for Ulric. Both of those things are good for an extra couple bucks, but the fact is, I (we) need more, and I want to be busier. So, since I got back to Brussels after the holidays I have been on a quest for the right job for me. Here in Brussels. Those 2 things don't seem to converge very often here, so this is a challenging project!

Option 1:

Teaching English at a school or getting jobs through a company. At this point, teaching at a school is MUCH more tempting. It would mean regular hours, not having to register as an independent (which would mean having to pay for insurance, pension, etc. out of pocket and in advance). I have applied to a childrens' language school here in Brussels, and have an interview on Friday! That should be interesting, and could be really good for me!

Option 2:

US Gov't. There are a couple of openings there that really interest me, an events coordinator and the other is to handle logistics for visitors (to Brussels or Belgium, I'm not sure). Both require someone who is detail oriented (definitely me) and someone who wants to deal with people a lot, and all different kinds of people at that, which sounds awesome. Not to mention that they pay generously, and I could get in with the American community there! So I need to get the info on the positions and get cracking!

Option 3:

Internship at the Radisson Blu (hotel). I'm not sure if the position is even paid, and I wouldn't be able to start until July, which is definitely a downside. The internship would be for 4 months, with the expectation that I would be hired when it was over. I can't say that it's something that really interests me, but at this point I suppose I should keep all my options open.

I am also totally open to other things that come my way, or at least I'm trying to be. I'm not all that interested in getting in with any of the European institutions, lobby groups or consultancies, and unfortunately that makes up a lot of the jobs here. Still, though, I'm trying to think outside the box and do whatever I can. In the meantime, there will always be the brownie baking and a couple individual lessons.

In other job news, Miguel has something big coming up, but I hesitate to give details, just in case I jinx it. So... more on that later!